Behold! Slow motion punches to the face.

Okay, the whole advent calendar thing was a bust. I couldn't take the pressure. So I decided to give up blogging. And it was working great over Christmakwanzakah whilst I was so busy stuffing my face and watching movies that I didn't notice the empty void in my life. But now that I'm getting reconnected with the intertubes and reading other people's blogs, I've caught the blogging bug once more.  

I have to say, I've watched this at least five times.  It's mesmorising..

JESUSPANDA wants JLS to win!!

Yeah, that's right punk, you read it; Jesus is Panda. Panda is Jesus. If you don't believe me(ther's a lie in believe!) check this mother out below....(or above if I don't place it properly)

Anywho JesusPanda says that JLS are the bomb and they should win xfactor. Coincidentally I also believe(lie) that JLS are the bomb and should win xfactor. 

My reasons are:

1) They've been stung with Louis Walsh, as a consolation, they should defo win!

2) Marvin is hot

3) They are always such fun and amazing, except for the week Louis gave them 'Hit me baby one more time' just cos he was bitter and didn't want any of the other acts to get it. Anywho they've bounced back from that.

4) Marvin is hot

5) The cute little one that sings all the time is sooooo cute, I just want to pull his cheeks

6) They're fun(or at least seem so on the telly)

7) Marvin is hot

Prop 8 The Musical!

Okay, so if you don't know about Prop 8, (i.e. if you've been living under a rock for the last few months) let me explain it briefly.  There was a measure on the ballot in California this year to rescind the right of same-sex couples to marry and to define marriage as between one man and one woman, thereby actively enshrining in law a big old spoonfull of hatred and discrimination.  It passed.  Fun times!  Now, I don't live in the US of A, but that's irrelevant.  Discrimination anywhere stinks.  

So, why am I bringing this up now?  Well, welcome to Prop 8 The Musical, created and written by Hairspray composer Marc Shaiman, "six weeks later than he shoulda" (according to the credits).  I agree - too frickin late dude.  But whatever, it's hilarious and Allison Janney is in it, which means I would watch it even if it were an infomercial for hemorrhoid oitment.  

I love the lady who keeps saying "ObamaNation!" and the totally spaced-out chick in the purple t-shirt who says "What else.  Does the bible say.  Je-sus?"  Also, how frickin awsome is John C Reilly's singing voice?  I'm off to watch Chicago..

On the Fourth of December...

I discovered that beautiful people don't exist..... Huzzah!

If you don't believe me check this bad boy out!!

Super Mario

A friend of mine recently changed all the tones on his phone to the sounds from Super Mario.  It was cute for about forty seconds and then I wanted to kill him.  Nonetheless, it did make me slightly obsessed with playing Mario.  I have to admit, I seriously suck.  It drives me NUTS having to go back to the beginning of the level every time I die.  So I play it for about ten minutes and then scream at the screen, smash my fist on the keyboard and switch it off.  Still.. Mario's awesome.  Happy December 3rd everyone!

December 2nd

On the second day of christmas, my true love said to me.. "FUCK!"

I've always wondered whether the fact that incompetence is spelt wrong is meant to be funny or is just a tragic, tragic error..

The Panda Tache Advent Calendar 2008

I have happy memories of Advent Calendars in the lead up to Christmas as a child.  So I have decided that Panda Tache needs one too.  Every day, for the next 24 days, something will be revealed.  It may be hideous (as childhood calendars occasionally were when the chocolate was gross or, one fateful year, when there was no chocolate at all, just a lousy picture) or it may be spectacular.  That'll probably be a matter of taste. And of how much time I decide to spend on this.  So, for now I give you December 1st.

BMW GINA Light Visionary Model Concept Car

Okay, I know two concept car posts in as many days is a bit much, but this car is frickin AWESOME.  It's the BMW GINA Light Visionary Model and the incredible thing about it is that the body isn't made of metal like a regular car.  The frame is covered with a lightweight fabric.  It's almost impossible to explain how amazing it is, so watch the video..

The L Word

Over the last couple of weeks Showtime has released two promos for the sixth and final season of The L Word, along with a bunch of production stills. They're pretty pants. 

Promo the first:

Promo the second:

Yeah, see?  Pants.  Anyhow, based on what's been revealed so far, the word on the street is that someone from the main cast gets killed and one of the others takes the rap for it. Wow. Just when you thought this show couldn't jump any more sharks, it proves you wrong. Also on the shark-jumping front, Shane and Jenny get it on. Ew. That's all I can say. EW. And there are some really dodgy clothes, which is pretty much to be expected.

Also there's the matter of the promo poster and the tagline for this season. "Going Down In History" Really? Really, Showtime? You chose "going down in history" as the tagline for your only lesbian show? Wow. Clever. And mature. Remind me to send a glowing letter to your PR department, congratulating them on their ingenuity.

Finally, details of the spin-off series have emerged via The L Word Online. It is set in a prison and Alice is a prisoner. What. The. Fuck. I mean really, what the FUCK? *sigh*

Sleeveface

I've been following Sleeveface for quite a while now.  Though I have yet to submit a photograph.  Sleeveface is one or more persons obscuring or augmenting any part of their body or bodies with record sleeve(s) causing an illusion.  If you haven't already seen it, check out their website here.  Admittedly, some of the photos are shit.  But every so often something awesome happens, as evidenced above.   

Noam Chomsky on Democracy Now

Alright, alright.  This isn't cheerful.  I'm working on it.  I don't usually do cheery.  Perhaps next post.  In the meantime, Noam Chomsky recently gave an excellent (if all too brief) lecture on the economy and the aftermath of the US elections.  It was broadcast on Democracy Now on Monday.  It's his first public appearance since the election and I for one have been eager to hear his thoughts.  It's well worth listening to and you can find it, along with a rush transcript, here.  

As an aside, I'm sure there are rules to blogging.  Something like not mixing pandas and politics.  I intend to remain wholly ignorant of those rules.  More odd juxtapositions - here I come!  Right, I'm off to think of something cheerful..

Batman R.I.P

Holy handgrenades, Batman!  You're dead!  And not in the metaphorical sense.  Bruce Wayne has apparently been killed off in the latest issue of Batman (aptly titled Batman R.I.P).  There is a bit of major spoilage ahead so, if you'd rather not know, you might want to sit this one out.  Grant Morrison revealed earlier this year that Bruce Wayne would either retire or be killed in a clash with the crime syndicate Black Glove.  Batman R.I.P sees Batman shot by villain Simon Hurt, who claims to be Wayne's father Dr Thomas Wayne.  Apparently there are a lot more twists and turns to come before the story is finally resolved.  Nonetheless, it would appear that Batman (in comic book form at least) may have breathed his last.  Batman R.I.P. will then be followed (apparently) by a two-part story by Neil Gaiman called Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader?  I do remember Neil saying he was working on a Batman comic at his signing a few weeks ago, so I am WELL excited about this.   

What's with all the death on this blog lately?  I promise my next post will be cheerful, even if I have to lie through my teeth.  

Edna Parker

The world's oldest person died on Wednesday.  Her name was Edna Parker and she was 115 years, 220 days old.  She was from the state of Indiana in the US and was born on April 20th, 1893.  She was a college graduate and a school teacher who married her childhood sweetheart. She outlived him and both her sons and is survived by her grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and great-great-grandchildren.  

Apparently she liked to be active right up until her death, and her advice for living a long life was simply "education".  I think that's pretty awesome, so she gets a mention here.  Rock on Edna.  

The Tache

So the tache is back.  Don't believe me?  Don't want to believe me?  Well it may be tragic, it may scream "I'm a rapist" from a hundred yards away, it may make you yearn to take a razor to the face of your nearest and dearest, but it's back.  And it's being embraced by men of all ages.  

Admittedly, the tache has a bad history.  It's associated with Hitler, Stalin, the 70s.  None of which serve to recommend it as a fashion choice.  But what about Clarke Gable, Burt Reynolds, Salvador Dali and the awesome campness that was Freddie Mercury?  

I must admit, I've given this a lot of thought (alright, I've given this a lot of thought given the fact that I'm a lesbian and it really doesn't effect me at all).  Upon reflection, I've decided that I approve of the moustache.  It has an old fashioned charm.  Though, I will admit that few people can pull it off satisfactorily.  Of the above gentlemen, I think only Tom Selleck (and yes, I know that's a really old picture of him, but doesn't he look dashing?) and Orlando Bloom (who looks rather like a young Tom Selleck there, which might explain things) look really awesome with a hairy lip.  Sean Connery could pull off the tache when he was younger, but now he looks better with the full beard.   And Brad Pitt just looks like a skeezy tosser. 

Anyhow, hurrah for the re-emergence of the tache!  I'm off to convince my male friends (and my less fortunate female friends) to grow one..

Woolworths - Gone But Not Forgotten

Woolworths has gone into administration.  What a sad day.  The great British institution was so very close to being one hundred years old.. The first store opened in Liverpool in 1909 (I'm not sure when they decided that grammar wasn't important and dropped the apostrophe but, given the circumstances, I'm willing to overlook it - perhaps they coudn't afford it anymore).  I have many fond childhood memories of the rows and rows of shelves filled with cheap everything and of the glorious pick and mix. Other stores attempted pick and mix, but it was Woolworths that truly suceeded.  And, as an adult, life last summer would have been so much less comfortable without Woolworths at the end of the street to supply me with pillows, sheets, Othello and god knows what else for under a fiver.  So, the next time I have a drink, I shall raise my cheap, cheap, eight for under a fiver glass to Woolworths - gone but not forgotten.  

8. Frickin. Trillion.

Remember when 'trillion' was just a stupid made up word you used as a kid?  Yeah, not so much any more.  So far, the pledges that the United States government have made in the bailout add up to $8,560,000,000,000.  That's eight trillion, five hundred and sixty billion dollars.  Which is about $26,500 each for every man, woman and child in the United States.  The figure adds up to more than the cost of: the Marshall Plan, the Louisiana Purchase, the Savings and Loans crisis, the Korean war, the Iraq war, the Vietnam war, the entire cost of the NASA space program, and the New Deal.  COMBINED (and adjusted for inflation).  And yet Americans still have the most retarded healthcare system in the western world.  Go figure..

The Nissan PIVO2

I know concept cars are all over the place right now, but this one is so bizarre that I felt compelled to blog about it.  The Nissan PIVO2 is entirely electric (of course it is - it's from Japan).   It seats three people (though that looks like it might be rather uncomfortable for more than one).  The wheels can rotate up to 90 degrees in all directions, and the main cabin can rotate 360 degrees so, no matter what direction you're driving in, you're always facing front.  As someone who has experienced the horror of sitting in a car with someone who is trying to parallel park in a tiny space, on a hill, in traffic, I can appreciate this. 

Okay, so the car is cool.  But wait, there's more.  It's also completely terrifying.  It's controlled by a creepy little onboard computer which, according to their website is designed to "engender feelings of affection and trust".  This computer (who, as far as I can tell is not named Kit or HAL) is programmed to talk and listen to the driver, assessing his or her mood based on tone of voice and facial expressions, and cheering or soothing accordingly.  Apparently this is to ensure a more pleasant journey, rather than to freak the shit out of you.  

Check out the simulation on their website here.  Terrifying..  

I Am Just A Lady. With A Simple Lady Mind.

This woman is the sole reason my thesis is going so slowly..  

Okay, maybe my shameless procrastination is the reason.  

But she hasn't helped.

If you want to see more (and you know you do) it's all here.

Panda Bread

Hello reader.  I am one third of panda chins.  (Which third you ask?  The awesome third.)  You will be pleased to know that you are witnessing history.  Right at this moment, I am popping the blog's cherry.  BAM.  What's that you say?  This is a pretty disappointing cherry-popping experience?  Well let's be honest here.  The first time is always a little shaky.  I can do better.  Honestly.  This doesn't usually happen to me..  

Anyhow, for my first blog post, I decided to look for strange panda-related things on the intertubes.  And I discovered this disturbing yet amazing creation from Hong Kong:

If you're interested, you can find the recipe here.

I doubt my baking skills are up to the challenge of making this.  I imagine my attempt would look more like a malformed cow.  Nonetheless, if I have some free time on my hands I might just give it a go..

Holy Panda Shit!

ENFO... They're coming for youuuu...

(Panda 1)

I joined ENFO( Childrens Environmental Organisation) as a child(of course)over twelve years ago. Despite the passage of time since I joined, and the phone calls(two) I've made to them I am still a recipient of the 'Children's Seasonal Newsletter'.

 Needless to say I was delighted to arrive home this afternoon and see that I am still on their blacklist and my Winter 2008 Newsletter had arrived. Packed with anecdotal gems such as 'Coral vs Anemone'(it's a tie!), 'The A to Z of Camels'(Did you know they can close their nostrils?!) and 'Marvellous Irish Animals'(the plume, it's a moth... what the ??) it really is a fascinating read.

Oh, who am I kidding?? It was frickin AMAZING!! 

What did the earwig say as it fell down the stairs??

Ear we go....

Well, I'm off to colour in the camel picture. This was my first ever blog, be nice to me! Ignore it's uber- randomness!!